oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
