i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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