he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize