I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize