apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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