he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
