you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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