Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
