I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize