dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Randomize
