It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
