I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Actions speak louder than pants.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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