every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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