new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
