Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize