In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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