I CAN MOONWALK!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
