she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
