Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
