My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
