Your mouth is God's brothel.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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