All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
