you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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