I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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