Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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