i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My vagina just clenched in fear
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
