The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
