what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You pole danced in your parka.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
