It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
