Quick, to the slutcave!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
