what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
