I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize