i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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