seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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