I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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