My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
