Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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