Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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