yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
