When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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