you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
