I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
