I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
