Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
