i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
