dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
