Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
love makes seman taste better
two words: eviction party
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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