Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
