ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
