i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
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I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you had me at cake vodka
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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