if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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