so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
