I hate all girls vehemently.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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