i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
