So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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