He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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