those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
