u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is my life. Enjoy the view
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
