I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
