If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
