During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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