The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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