I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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