Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i dont even know how to be here
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
this hospital has no fireball
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
