Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
