You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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