wat bout pragnant strippers??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
