I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
