You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
