Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
