And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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