On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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